work stuffs//we threw a show with Minor Alps//Juliana’s shoes tho
daily reminder so I put it on the wall.
The Doobie Brothers
Pretty hot issue of Teen Beat.
Spent the whole flight thinking about how I’ve been listening to a line as insipid as “the glove compartment isn’t accurately named” for 10 years, and how it took me the first seven to realize that.
Daniell Koepke (x)
I need to remind myself of this very often.
"You’re allowed to take up space." That’s something women are not told enough. Even in the simplest terms, it’s important. I’m sitting in an airport at the moment and I see three couples in which the female has all her bags scrunched up tight as to take up only the minimal amount of space, while the man does not appear to think twice about sprawling out.
Choices, Parental Mortality + Everything I Think I Know About Adulthood
A few months ago I went back to Ohio for 10 days to take care of my 57-year-old father. One side of his body had been numb for 6+ months. It turned out numerous discs in his spine were gone, like some nightmare of a magic act. So the doctors inserted steel rods in his back, a metal cage around his spine. For a while I thought about his injuries in terms of a machine. He wasn’t just missing some nuts and bolts; he was missing the support beam. He was suffering from specific ailments I could not even pronounce, the solution for which was to stick some metal in him and keep him under house arrest for three months.
I did not take it well. I started having trouble sleeping, ripping the sheets out in the night and situating a small fan mere inches from my face to combat the panicky sweats. I walked around feeling like my dad had already been taken from me, when in all actuality he was at home binging on The Sopranos and obsessing over his fantasy team. I started acknowledging my presence far from home as an active choice, rather than The Only Way.
Didion has written much I’ve related to about coming to New York, how she “was never a big fan” of people who never leave home. But she also wrote, in ”Goodbye To All That,” that ”it never occurred to [her] that [she] was living a real life” in New York. See, it’s never occurred to me that I wasn’t living the realest life in New York. My parents have known this for a long while; roughly 10 years, my mom said that she knew I did not want a little life. I would stick around as long as I legally had to, and I sure as hell would not buy my childhood home like my father did. The vague idea was that my brother take care of them when the time came, whatever that was to entail. What naive nonsense I told myself when I left home, what a selfish way to soothe my vague fears.
The whole thing sounds worse than it ended up being, which is to say that my pops is back to driving and will soon be able go back to work alone in his tidy, analogue dental practice. But it has started and there’s no going back. For the rest of his life, I will worry about my father’s health. I have a standing appointment on the books with my parents’ mortality.
And that, my friends, was how I realized my concept of adulthood was utter bullshit up until now. Adulthood is taking care of not only yourself, but the people who were kind enough to raise you. Adulthood is worrying more than your own mother.
This was probably my favorite piece of music to come out in 2011. It’s a minute and a half long, nothing more than a reprise, but I never stopped being haunted by how gorgeous it is. “If I could have it back/All the time we’ve wasted/I’d only waste it again” - it immediately reminded me of the sentiment behind LCD’s “All My Friends.”
my favorite lyrics of the year, so far, ~based exclusively on personal relevancy~
I want to know, does it bother you?
The low click of a ticking clock
There’s a lifetime right in front of you
And everyone I know
fuck. yes it does.
Last night, I barely looked at my phone for several hours, something I don’t do very often. The Taylor Swift show was a Temporary Autonomous Zone of magic and childhood and happiness and love and the color red and people wrapped in Christmas lights and sparkly signs and homemade t-shirts and some of the greatest pure pop songs of the past decade.
Then, this happened, and I thought my heart would explode and my throat would collapse from screaming.
After the show, I turned my phone back on and the whole world had gone to shit.
Taylor felt our presence and picked her guest accordingly, psh